Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Best Prize I Ever Got

I haven't won many prizes in my life. I remember once at the Maryland State Fair I won a stuffed alligator. I think I won it playing a roulette wheel with my birthdate. I'm not sure. I asked my Mom and she didn't remember, she said she barely remembered the alligator!

I kept that gator until it's fuzzy eyeballs were all worn off and the fur had been pulled out by the cat. That, though, was not the best prize I ever got. The best prize was received when I was in fourth grade at Towson Elementary School. At Christmastime the school was having a contest to see how many Christmas cards each student could bring in. I had everyone in my family participating; mom, dad, and both sets of grandparents. Even a few neighbors who didn't have kids in the school helped out. I was playing for the best, most awesome prize I could have received. Curious? Well, hang on and I'll tell you. My friend Holly and I were running neck and neck in this contest. Everyday we were within about 5 cards of each other. The next to the last day, we were virtually tied. What a nailbiter! So, I called the one person who I knew could put me over the edge. Grandad. He came up with 50 more cards. I knew that would give me the victory. Did it ever! By 42 cards! It was a landslide! Now, for the prize. I won an 8 ounce, milk chocolate, Hershey Bar! Even as a fourth grader, my addiction to food was out of control.

So, proudly I showed my giant Hershey Bar to my Mom. She rationed me out two squares a day. This rationing process lasted approximately ..... one day. If memory serves me correctly, I believe the chocolate bar was gone by the third or fourth day.

As I grew up, and as the Bible says, began "to put away childish things." (1 Cor 13:11), I realized that my salvation, though not a prize, was the greatest gift I had ever been given. Philippians 3:14 says to press toward the mark of the prize, which is the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

I have begun to really reflect on this. That is my heart's desire. But, am I putting as much effort into God's call on my life and doing His work as I did in getting enough Christmas cards to win the chocolate bar.

I want to be...scratch that.....I am GOING to be victorious over this addiction. In my current state, I cannot do the things that I know God wants me to do. He's vividly shown me different things that He wants of me, and until I have completely given this sin over to God, proven that I am in recovery, and my health begins to turn around, I will not be able to do what He wants of me.

When I get to Heaven my desire is to hear Him say, "Well done my good and faithful servant." I don't want to hear Him say, "Well, you're here by the skin of your teeth, and you have no crowns to present to Jesus." That would be devastating.

So, I am changing my course.

There are a lot of reasons, I am discovering, that have led me to this addiction. I'll be sharing some of that with you, despite how humiliating or foolish others may see it as. I'll also be addressing why food and why not alcohol or other substances.

I covet your prayers and I thank you for sharing in this process with me.

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